Stubborn as all hell!

In Peace Corps Panama we are lucky to have a committee known as Gender and Development. They have representatives in every province, a president, vice-president, secretary, treasurer, coordinator on the west side of the country, and coordinator on the east side of the country. Suffice to say that they are very well organized. They also host a number of Charlas about health, HIV, child development, and youth leadership. They also have a guide book called, "pueblo sano, vida sana," 'Healthy community, healthy life." The book discusses a wide range of topics from domestic violence to prejudice to decision making. GAD also hosts week long seminars for women artisans and young leadership camps. This year, GAD will be hosting two youth leadership camps divided into the East and West sides of the country, one on the EAST and one on the WEST.

This year, 50 lucky kids from Peace Corps communities that were chosen to participate will spend a week learning how to be a leader. Its such a phenomenal opportunity for kids from our communities to leave their home for the very first time and they grow so much from this experience.

I have to break for a story: When I was studying racism and discrimination I participated in one training exercise about privilege that left a really big impact on me. I was on a line with a very diverse group of my friends and we were asked to step forward and step back based on our responses to a long list of questions. Initially, everyone starts on the same line. We were asked about our families educational background, if our parents had graduated from high school, we could take two steps forward. If they had graduated from college, we could take two steps forward. That second question, a number of my friends stayed on the line, while I moved forward. The questions continued and the level of privilege based on where the group had begun and where we finished became more and more obvious. Those in front at the end of some 20 odd questions were those that had been outside of the country, their grandparents had graduated from college, and they had more than 5 family members that had graduated from college. One question that had been related to having a leg up on the privilege scale was having participated in summer camps.

I would love nothing more than for 2 of my students to have a leg up. Yanitza and Dalia are two of my absolute favorite students who will be starting seventh grade in February.

Unfortunately due to funding and an unprecedented amount of applications for GAD camp East, 50 students this year including Dalia and Yanitza will not be attending GAD camp East this year. But as the title to this blog implies, I am stubborn as all hell. And I will be writing another PCPP grant to get the funding for a second GAD camp EAST. Thankfully, the directiva and the GAD coordinators, Laura and Whitney are behind me, guardaring mi espalda.

Lack of funding is a shitty excuse and I don't want to accept it.

This blog is more like a last minute Christmas present. If you haven't found an NGO to donate to yet, just wait! The camp would cost 6 thousand dollars and all 50 kids that wanted to participate will now have the opportunity.

Lets do this! I have to write the grant and get it approved by the office, but please keep your eyes open.

All in a good days work

Yesterday, I think that I had my best Peace Corps work day of my entire service. I have to brag about it. Everything worked out!

So the day was filled with our 17th recycling day at the school, a visit with a group of individuals interested in starting a recycling project in their community and their Peace Corps volunteer Alex Boom who also came with our Supervisor for Peace Corps Panama's Environmental Conservation, Francisco Santa Maria, and a meeting with parents about the field trip next week(!).

I showed up at 6:30 at school to set up the recycling tanks in the center patio, I set out tables, and got the cookies and crystal light ready for our recycling volunteers and for the visitors from Piedras Gordas. Our counting volunteers distributed the notebooks and starting counting, while committee members set up a table with all of the things that we have "re-used" in the community. They displayed their crochet bags, their vases, baskets, mirrors, picture frames, flowers, bags made out of lays chip bags, and "cutarras" traditional sandals made out of newspaper and cardboard. The group of visitors showed up and the principal of the school expressed very nice words about the project.

We hosted the group for about an hour and a half. One of the greatest things was that Sara and Judi, our committee's President and Vice president were responding to the questions. The group asked so many questions about our volunteers, how did they get involved? are they paid? They just do it out of the kindness of their hearts?! Do we have support from ANAM (environmental agency) and MEDCUA (Ministry of Education), yes we do! We also have had support from Peace Corps (Volunteer Advisory committee grants) and the PCPP (incredible support from back home).

While we were hosting and explaining the project, parents continued to count and separate the trash. The group even got their hands a little dirty and helped us separate the recycling. We were able to coordinate days in which Sara, Judy, and I would visit Piedras Gordas for recycling education charlas for the community and a re-utilizing seminar.

Shortly after they left, the pizza arrived for the kindergarden class that had the most amount of recycling for the day and the recycling truck arrived to take the recycling. Everything worked out. It was absolutely incredible. We had volunteers, a group of visitors, wonderful hostess', pizza on time, and a recycling pick-up all on the same day. Thank you universe and karma, son increible.

As Alex was leaving, he told me that its one thing to hear me talk about our recycling project in Membrillo but it is quite another to see it. And he told me to brag about it all I wanted, what we have is amazing.  My supervisor concurs.

Anyone who is interested in seeing it, our 18th recycling day, the last one this school year is on December 10th. Come on down.

Thanksgiving Fun!

I have recently been commenting to friends that I am overdue for a funny blog. So here goes:

1. I have begun making Spanish sounds when I react to things. For example, if I am surprised by something or something drops to the ground my noise of choice these days is "ayyyyyyyy." I no longer say "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." how ridiculous is that. It's the same if I pause when thinking about something, instead of saying "ugh" it's become more of an "ahhh." I have also been forgetting English at a very scary rate, the other day I had to describe white out to marissa because I couldn't remember how to say it in English. Just imagine how embarrassing this will be 7 months from now, or whichever masters program I get into. Ayyyyyyyy. 

2. I have become a  tad frugal. As my friends can attest, I am a yeah- yeah volunteer, which means I act like I am a peace corps volunteer with money. When I am in panama city I love to splurge on aged cheddar cheese, salami, and wheat thins. And then for the last two weeks before our next pay check I enjoy an overdose of Top Ramon. But recently, purchases that should seem like common sense decisions, I have refused to buy. i.e. I was traveling in Bocas del Toro last month and realized the first day in that I had run out of deodorant. But I knew that in my house (10 hours away) I had several deodorants. My next thought was that I could wait until I got home and not have to buy a new deodorant. It was four days, I would just have to take lots of showers. That rationale can only be the influence of a  peace corps budget. I didn't think deodorant would make me infinitely happier, so I opted out of purchasing it. Ayyyyyyyy.

3. I have begun to seriously consider serving one more year in panama. Gulp. I have been offered a response position to recreate my recycling project in multiple schools in Chitre, Panama. I would have a free place to stay and an extra year to serve the united states of amuuuuuurica. Thoughts? I would still be traveling for 2 months next June after I finish my service in my community and then return to panama for one more year. Ayyyyyyyy. 

As always thanks to those who read this. Happy thanksgiving! I am headed to Cerro Punta, Chiriqui to celebrate with 100 peace corps volunteers. 

Grateful list: if theLA Times makes a grateful list every Thanksgiving, i figure i shouldmake one tooObama's win, Gay marriage in 3 more states, proposition in CA that will help out our educational system, fifty shades of grey, the daily show with Jon Stewart, packages from the United States,  great peace corps friends--- special shout out to Matt, Beth, Bri, and Drea, an amazing peace corps community (I love you Membrillo), great family, great family friends, amazing mentors, incredible ,beautiful, and perfect sisters ( I carry your hearts), rock star parents that never fail to provide me with incredible support and love. I am so lucky and grateful.  Happy thanksgiving to all. 

Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, gather up! It's thanksgiving time! 
Peace and love, Sonia

Lots of Action Down Here

This past month has been amazing. My PCPP was fully funded by 8 individuals and families in 8 days!!!  I was able to spend a week with my twin sister, I was able to visit the beautiful island of Bocas del Toro with several friends, and I enjoyed election night at the United States' Ambassador's home in Panama City! Que Viva Obama! Ohh and as a bonus,  I also became a godmother!

For those that have since gone to the Peace Corps Contribute page to make a donation, fear not, the project has already been fully funded. On December 4th, I will be taking 48 students, 2 committee members, 2 teachers, and 6 parents on our very first Recycling Super Stars field trip. I have been marking down the days on my calendar. I have been coordinating with the museums and all looks good for the 4th, I have received confirmation emails from the museums. The recycling committee will be hosting our 16th, 17th, and 18th recycling days this month. We will also be hosting a school wide celebration on December 11th.

Spending time with Marissa was amazing. "If I forget to tell you later, I had an amazing time this week." Marissa paid for the two of us to go to Costa Rica and we had such a great time! I hadn't seen her in 10 months. We got a little teary eyed when we met at the airport.  And then we embarked on our "I carry your heart twins Costa Rican Trip 2012. We managed to visit three places, Monte Verde, La Fortuna, and Puerto Viejo. I highly recommend the Lonely Planets, Central America on a Shoe String travel guide.  Monte Verde was beautiful and has a really great canopy tour equipped with a super man zipline and a tarzan swing. La Fortuna was a great place to relax, we stayed at a 5 star hostel and enjoyed massages, hot springs, and a volcano tour.  The Costa Ricans are very nice and their hospitality is incredible. I think its also very advantageous if you speak Spanish, so many people in Costa Rica speak English, but I felt like Spanish really helped navigate.  At one point I had my very own "Only You" moment. For those who haven't seen the movie, Marisa Tomei plays a helpless romantic who believes in destiny. Her character played with a weegie board when she was 12 and found out that the love of her life was "Damon Bradley." The movie unfolds when someone calls to tell her that they are an old friend of her fiance's that can't make it to the wedding but wanted to send his congratulations, he happens to be catching a flight to Italy, and right before he hangs up the phone Marisa Tomei asks his name and he says, "Damon Bradley." She immediately leaves for the airport but by the time she makes it to the plane's gate the plane has already been fully boarded. The flight attendants do not allow her on the plane even though she tells them that "the man she loves is on that plane."  She ends up taking the next flight to Italy and falls in love with Robert Downey Jr. A similar event unfolds at the airport in Italy, although this time when she arrives late to the gate and tells the Italians "the man she loves is on that plane," the Italians stop the plane and run her onto the tarmac and up the stairs and the movie ends with her and Robert Downey Jr. lip to lip on the plane as all the Italians cheer.  My Costa Rican experience included me leaving the ATM machine without my card the day before I was supposed to head back to Panama. I walked around for a couple hours after that, Marissa and I went for lunch, and then we went into this really cute clothing store, and as I went for my credit card I finally realized that I had left it in the  ATM. So I turned pale white and headed straight for the bank. Marissa said it looked like I wasn't breathing for about 10 minutes. Once we got to the bank I talked with several of the security cards who said they had seen a Bank of America card and had turned it into the bank. The bank however was closed and their was nothing that could be done until Monday morning at 9 a.m. This was Friday night. "Shit" I thought to myself. Marissa didn't say anything as if she was letting me work this out in my head. I was starting to think it would be okay for me to stay until Monday, I would just sleep outside and eat  one meal a day (Peace Corps mind at work). Then finally Marissa jolted me back to reality and encouraged me to find the people in charge. 5 minutes later, 2 official bank managers exited the building and I went to talk with them. They listened to my sob story, I just kept saying, "I know this is really stupid. But I really need that card." These guys could have easily said "sorry" and walked away. But they didn't, they called San Jose for authorization to go back into the bank. After 45 minutes of patiently waiting outside, the 2 bank managers took a copy of my passport and handed me back my B of A debit card. Call it Karma, or maybe we can attribute this story to how kind the Costa Ricans are. These managers went out of their way to help. Marissa made her way back to LA the following day and I made my way to Bocas del Toro.

Bocas del Toro, as a friend of mine says,"Is a different country." Backpackers paradise. I met up with several friends for a birthday celebration and also to celebrate halloween. The beaches are a boat or bus ride away. The hostels are full of Israelis, Europeans, Americans, and Random internationals. The food is also incredible, ranging from Sushi to Bagels to Mexican. And each bar hosts Ladies night every evening, where ladies drink for free. Its a party every night of the week. And Happy hour starts at 9 a.m. Gringo Paradise. I had so much fun. I probably had more fun in those 4 days than in my entire service.

Once I got back to Membrillo, my host sister and counterpart had her baby. Her baby was born on November 4th, she weighed 5 pounds and 9 ounces. Although she hasn't been baptized yet, I am so excited to be her godmother!!!! She hasn't even been named yet but I love that little girl.

Also, Election night. I spent election night at the Ambassador' Jon Farrar's home with 1,000 other guests. It was very fun. The president of Panama Martenelli walked in and shook my hand! At about 10 p.m. I headed back to the hostel to watch the news with about 15 other volunteers. At 11:30 we heard word that Obama had won. And we all waited until 2 a.m. to hear Obama's speech. "Ain't no power like the power of the people because the power of the people don't stop!" is what I was chanting as we waited for Romney's concession speech. Thank you Ammmmmeeeeerica.

Next on the agenda is training the Environmental Health volunteers about my waste management project next week. And then the field trip!!! Thanks for all the donations again!

That's all for now.
Lots of Love, Sonia Esquibel  

PCPP Grant Special

Hello All,

I have recently written a very lengthy grant for a science field trip for my recycling students. Now I need help with donations! :)


I have included the grant summary below:

     My name is Sonia Esquibel.  I am the youngest daughter of Abe & Olivia Esquibel.  I have been serving my country as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the beautiful country of Panama for the past eighteen months.  I work as an “Environmental Extension Agent,” teaching environmental science to school aged children.  I have managed to start a successful waste management/recycling program. 

     I am serving in the community of Membrillo.  Membrillo is located in the center of Panama, in the mountains of the province of Cocle.  It is a tranquil atmosphere and very entrepreneurial.   Membrillo is comprised of five sectors with approximately 500 inhabitants in each.  Membrillo is a thriving artistic community, famous for handcrafts made of soapstone.  Soapstone is a volcanic rock that community members have been working with for forty years.  Half of the community members are artisans, while the rest work in agriculture and construction.  The center of the community is the school I work at, serving 605 students.  Due to the large population of Membrillo, many Panamanian agencies associated with agriculture, environment, food security, and health have a strong presence here.  Community members are active participants in projects and seminars, making Membrillo a fun and welcoming place to work. 

     So what have I been doing with my time in the Peace Corps?  I have been teaching several environmental initiatives in the school such as reforestation, global warming, waste management, and recycling.  I have established and am working with a committee of teachers and parents to create a sustainable recycling project.  This project has environmental value for Membrillo as it lacks the infrastructure for the disposal of waste.  More often development focuses solely on economics and overlooks a concern for the environment.  Both economic and environmental developments need to work hand in hand for the benefit of the community.  Eight years ago, Membrillo was connected to the regional capital by developed roads.   Four years ago, Membrillo was connected to the electric grid.  The community is developing economically, but more focus needs to be on protecting the environment. 

     Trash is the greatest environmental issue facing my village.  Historically, members of the community would burn recyclable items or discard them indiscriminately.  Many items are toxic, especially when burned.  With help from community members, we established a recycling center at the school.  This project has dramatically reduced the consequences of improper waste management. Since April of this year, I have encouraged all the students to recycle.  Special days bimonthly are designated.  Items such as batteries, aluminum cans, plastic bottles, plastic bags, juice boxes, cardboard, and paper that were being burned or discarded on a daily basis are now being recycled.  Students have recycled almost 200,00 items to date.  

     The community now has some choices in how they dispose of their recyclable wastes.  The community has responded enthusiastically.  We continue to address issues of waste management through recycling, reusing, reducing, and composting. 

     The ASK:  This is where I plug in my request for your very generous donations to sustain the school’s recycling project and for a fun field day trip!  On December 4, 2012, the recycling committee plans to host our very first “Recycling Super Stars Field Trip.”  Forty-eight recycling super stars have been designated as having collected the most recycling items since the onset of the project.  Their reward is to visit science museums in Panama City.  Our trip includes a visit to the Smithsonian, an outdoor aquarium and Explore, a discovery museum.  We are rewarding our super stars for their environmental contribution and participation.  We are very proud of our super stars and want to show them how proud we are.  I hope that they all pursue their education and perhaps some of them will study the environment further.  Most of our super stars have never been outside of Cocle.  I know they are going to love the day we have planned for them and hope to inspire them to strive to participate in next year’s recycling field trip.  I want them to know just how special they each are and that they can make a difference.  They have made an incredible difference in our village and this trip is well deserved.  

     I have used this quote before, but feel it is very well suited here:  “Lives of service depend on lives of support” (Paul Farmer).  For those of you motivated to donate towards this field trip, please visit www.peacecorps.gov/contribute.  You can find our project by using my last name, “Esquibel” or selecting “Find a Volunteer Project” by scrolling down to Panama.  Our project is under “Promoting Environmental Development: Field Trip for Recycling Super Stars.”  If you decide to donate, please do it soon!  All of our donations need to be made before November 9 so Washington, D.C. can forward the funds to Panama by December 1.  

     “We won’t always know whose lives we have touched and made better for having cared, because actions can sometimes have unforeseen ramifications.  What’s important is that you do care and you act” (Charlotte Lunsford).  Thank you!!  Really, I thank you so much for your time and generosity.  Con paz y mucho amor, peace, Sonia Esquibel

P.S. Please consider becoming my friend on Facebook or view my blog at SoniaEsquibelPCinPanama to view photos of my work in Panama.

Stories of the Trade

Sentimental Blog with Quotes and Relationship Stories

“In your life’s journey, there will always be excitement and fulfillment, boredom and routine, and even the occasional train wreck..But when you have picked a dream that is bigger than you personally, that truly reflects the ideas that you cherish, and that can positively affect others, then you will always have another reason for carrying on.” Pamela Melroy

“Believe in yourself.  Believe that the universe is friendly and on your side.” Quotes from a book called Believe, a book that Kathy Williams gave to me.

I used to believe that the Peace Corps is for everyone. This belief, however is incorrect. The Peace Corps requires a number of qualities, such as humor and patience. An ability to manage your expectations. An ability to accept challenges and failures. Ultimately, Peace Corps is a minimum two year commitment. We can extend if we wish, but two years is the only commitment that is expected of us once swearing in. Volunteers decide to skip out and leave early for a plethora of reasons, typically because they didn’t realize what a sacrifice Peace Corps can be for volunteers. I think the three top reasons why volunteers have left Panama are due to boyfriends or girlfriends, Illness, and struggling with the community they are serving in. I understand all of these reasons. We are giving up experiences with friends and our families for new experiences with new friends and family. We put our “united states lives” on hold for two years. Ultimately believing the experience we are headed towards in our new communities is worthwhile. And the relationships I have gained are relationships that I would never have imagined. This december, I will become a godmother to my host sisters Sara’s baby. I wouldn’t have ever thought that could happen during my service here in Panama. But I am indeed going to be a godmother and I cannot wait. I will be the godmother for Sara’s new baby boy this December, the due date is December 5th. Boy am I going to spoil this little baby boy. Ultimately, We have two years to make a difference in our communities. Although our projects are important, the relationships we form are so much more important. It unfortunate that so many volunteers don't get that. I can say that the relationship that I have with Sara will last way beyond these two years. 

I just finished the re-utilizing charla with 18 women in the community. We met for three hours every week day for 3 hours for 8 weeks. We learned how to make frames, mirrors, earrings, bags made of soda caps, bags made of ship bags, plastic bottle flowers, and so many other things. I actually learned how to crochet! I had such a wonderful time with these women every afternoon for 8 weeks. I actually gave some words of thanks during the ceremony. I told these women not to be surprised if I show up to their homes ready to work.  I learned so much from them during this charla. Don’t get me wrong, I struggled learning how to do all of these things. But it was such a great opportunity to hang out with so many women everyday. I feel like that is something that is lacking in my community, an opportunity where women can go and hang out together, tell jokes, talk about our families, whatever. We are supposed to start the charla all over again at the end of October and I cannot wait to spend more time with these women. 

I also, last saturday hosted the “event of the year” a charla on waste management. We were talking about all that is waste management. We made an example of compost and an incinerator made out a metal drum. We talked about the dangers of burning trash especially batteries, plastics, cans, and aerosol cans. I also talked extensively about reducing, reusing, and recycling. We finished the day with “square foot gardening (check out mel bartholomew’s book).”  The charla went really well. 25 members of the community attended, I had a number of women that participated in the re-utilizing charla attend (they told me that they have my back), and they also showed up early to help cook lunch for the attendants of the “event of the year, waste management seminar.” 

We have also recently re-vamped the recycling area in the school, I have included photos in this blog. It looks so great! I have been working away planning the field trip for 48 students on December 4th. I am trying my dam-best to get the field trip fully funded by Panamanian politicians and agencies.  The kids and I, along with 7 parents will be visiting the Smithsonian, Explora, and the Natural Sciences Museum in Panama City. The students really want to eat at McDonald’s as well, so I am doing my best to make it all possible. I will actually be visiting the museums next week to confirm our reservations and final prices. 

The recycling Project is still going extraordinarily well, we have hosted 12 recycling days and still have 6 more left for this school year. We have launched a new initiative, “recycling champions”, each champion will be winning a recycling shirt. We are also hosted the “Battle of the Classrooms” and will be awarding trophies to classes that win at our end of the year Recycling Thank You for Participating Celebration. 

These quotes below have kept me going:

BELIEVE IN DOING GREAT WORK

Believe that passion persuades

Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is right here right now. Don’t miss it. Leo Buscaglia

Below I have photos from the re-utilizing Charla, The new recycling Center, Beth and I when we visited an Embera Site in August, The waste management charla, and a photo of me with my kindergarden students---they are wearing badges that say "protector of mother earth." 

Thanks for Reading. 

Peace and Love, Sonia

Whirlwind

Whirlwind:

It’s always embarrassing how much time passes between my blogs. For the 5 people that actually read this ;) sorry for being such a slacker. Here is my attempt to explain the last several months. 

First, my trip to the beautiful country of Ecuador. A note for the wise: when traveling to Ecuador you have to remember Quito’s altitude and pack shoes. I only packed sandals, which was a huge mistake. Quito is cold, 68 degrees cold which because of Panama’s influence, I was Freeeeeeeeezing. Quito, although cold is really nice. I walked into a Public market and was in heaven (silver jewelry, beautiful scarves, and beautiful canvases). Quito is surrounded by beautiful mountains. The city center is incredible. If you feel the urge to visit a church and then wish to visit another and another, Quito is the place to go. You can go catholic church-hopping. The down town area alone has over 200 churches.  I went with Dad to visit Ana Grijalva and Rachel, two amazing woman that we met because of Pitzer’s International host family’s program. Rachel went last semester to Quito to study ecology/environmental rights (she actually made a really great documentary called “ “ that you can all watch on youtube). My dad and I flew into Quito and the next day had an opportunity to meet all of Ana’s extended family and see her mom’s absolutely beautiful home. The next day we went with Rachel and her mom to the cloud forest just north of Octavalo known as Intag. We actually stayed in a very small hotel in Nangulvi. The next day we went to visit a group of women that work with bolsas, we also went to see a coffee cooperative, and finally visited a group of women that form a aloe vera soap group in a small community called Rosal. This group of women was so inspiring to see. They formed their group as a reaction to a cement mine close by that is really the only form of an economy in the region. Several deaths have occurred at the mine and these women are prepared to fight for safer working conditions. They are a group of very strong feminists in the middle of rural Panama, I absolutely loved talking to them. One great experience in Rosal that evening was the cultural night. The group of women and our tour guide Franklin played music and we danced along to songs about their community and Ecuador. The guitarist also played a couple songs by Vicente Fernandez! It was so much fun. I would really love to visit them when I travel after I finish Peace Corps next June. Rachel, her mom, my dad and I also went on a grueling hike the following day. At some points we were so close to the edge of a cliff, it was a little too close for me. Once we made it to the waterfall and back to our tour guides house he admitted to us that the week before a gringa had slipped and had to spend a week in his parents home to recover. We all made it back to the car after 19 kilometers and drove back to Quito. The next days were spent on the coast close to Canoa at a small organic farm known as Rio Muchacho. The farm doesn’t create any waste, everything is composted (including compost latrines). We stayed in very cute cabins and played catch phrase in English and Spanish. We rode horses, and I have officially decided that horse riding is not the thing for me. We made coffee and chocolate. We ate delicious vegetarian food. And before I knew it, we were heading back to Quito. 

Back in Panama,  during the month of June we hosted two recycling days. The kids really, really want to attend the field-trip I have planned for the end of the year. They are all fighting to be “recycling stars.” The parents have also become super involved. We have over 16 people helping count the recycling every recycling day. In Panama, I have learned that if you need help, you really really have to ask for it and then people help. We just opened a bank account with the recycling committee’s president because we have made over 445 dollars recycling.  The project is going so well. Sometimes I cannot believe how well it is going. I actually have to share a presentation next week with the Community environmental conservation volunteers next monday about recycling projects in volunteers communities. I have become the recycling expert, who knew? We have hosted two recycling days this month and the next recycling day is August 6th and August 20th. 

A couple weeks ago, (After escaping my site after seeing a 23 year old slitting his wrists in my site) I attended a women’s artisans seminar that was hosted by Peace Corps Panama’s Gender and Development group. I took two women from my community, Yadira and Senora Sebastiana. We traveled to San Felix, Chiriqui on Monday and stayed until Friday morning. The peace corps had allotted for 10 facilitators, but at the last minute gave me permission to attend the seminar. The seminar was incredible. The volunteers were such great facilitators, they are all very talented speakers. The seminar included talks on price, cost, quality, competition, budget, calculators, nutrition, child development, HIV/AIDS, and domestic violence. 44 women from peace corps communities attended the seminar. These women were all from different areas of panama, including Darien, Colon, Panama, Cocle, Veraguas, Herrera, and Bocas del Toro. A number of the women were also from the indigenous regions (comarcas) known at the Embera and the Ngobe-Bugle. The indigenous women actually made up the majority of the women at the seminar. I am sure its not often that this happens at seminars so it was a really great experience especially for my community members to have a chance to interact with indigenous women. I actually had a wonderful time working with two women, Celina and Josefina both of which are unable to read or write.  As the addition to the seminar, my job was to help these two women during the charlas that were heavily oriented in reading and writing. These women were so sweet. Apparently they told their volunteer (Matt T) before they left for the seminar that even though they couldn’t read or write that they were going to “listen really hard.” The women also during the seminar had many hours to teach the others their craft. I actually sat in during these workshops as well and managed to make a beautiful necklace out of plant fibers and recycled earrings (under Lauren Lynch’s guidance) made out of magazines. The seminar was such a great experience, to laugh and learn with these women. I love outspoken women and many that attended are very outspoken. Others that aren’t super outspoken had an opportunity to share their personalities during cultural performances or their craft work. I really want to begin giving similar charlas in my site...

I got back to site and thankfully the 23 year old that I saw attempting suicide had entered a program and his family said he was doing well. I actually intervened and called the ambulance and police when I saw him the week before, which the family wasn’t too happy about--and Peace Corps wasn’t too happy either. That week in site was super rough, my host dad had been beaten up and robbed on his way back from El Valle de Anton. Luckily my host dad and my neighbor and his family appear to be doing alright. (I normally try to keep this blog happy and upbeat but that week in site was anything but..that week in site was efffed up)

Last week was super busy. I have a economic development charla hosted by INADEH everyday in the health center with 18 women for the next 5 weeks. We have been learning how to “re-utilize” and reuse recycled materials. So far, we have made vases, mirrors, picture frames, lamps, baskets, various wall decorations, flowers, and small purses. I cannot articulate how cool it is to hang out with these women Monday-Friday from 3-6. The president of the recycling committee, vice-president, and I have been participating in the charla together. I have also made dinner for a number of the participants on friday evenings after the charla. 

I have also been playing soccer in site. A couple of weeks ago, my team won first place! I have been in the chiva and randomly people have pointed at me and said, “la gringa juega muy bien.” alright! We have another tournament on Sunday. I would really love to host a tournament and invite peace corps volunteers to form a team to play.

Last week, I also had some friends visit my community. One of their complaints has been that they know Membrillo, but I have yet to visit their communities. So friday, bright and early, Bri and I made our way into the real Cocle countryside to two friends, Sergio and Sean. The real campo, as opposed to where I live (in the fake campo--fake because its easily accessible and has electricity and running water) takes two hours to get to and then an hour hike. All three of the volunteers that I went to visit are Environmental Health volunteers, “the bad-asses.”  Badasses because they work with aqueducts, compost latrines, and other bad ass projects. Over the weekend we jumped into a raging current (I only did it once because I was terrified), we ate fresh beef (the community members killed a cow at 1 am and made over 300 dollars selling the meat the following day--and Sean and Bri proceeded to take epic pictures of themselves with the cow head), we hiked in a sea of mud, we measured homes for the aqueduct---in terms of distance and altitude, played catch phrase (I have yet to win a game), and we made brownies out of discarded tuna cans in a pot full of water and rocks. It was such a great weekend in the “campo campo.” 

This week, Monday we hosted our 9th recycling day at the school. We made a whopping 113 dollars. My next big event to plan is the field trip for the first week of December. We will be taking 48 students to hopefully 3 science museums in Panama City. I was asking about transportation today in Penonome and am hoping a local politician will provide it for us, if not I have to start looking for donations....:)

Tomorrow, I am headed to a beach resort with group 68 volunteers to celebrate our 1 year in Panama. Everything is included, drinks and food. I can barely contain my excitement. Then I am off to visit an Embera site and have my body painted in jagua de nuevo (a paint thats lasts for about 2 weeks)

Hasta Pronto, Sonia 

One year in Panama! Ohh Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I have officially marked the one year mark in Panama! Ooooh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (this is where I would share an image of me clasping my fist and saying 'Alright' the way my dad always does) In some respects it feels like the time flew by, but in other respects--it feels like I have been here for a very long time....I remember meeting volunteers that had been here for a year already in training and thinking how "mature they seemed, like they had panama figured out." It would be cool if the newly arrived volunteers thought so much about me. hahaha. I have made the jump to feel at home in panama. That seems to happen around the year mark for most volunteers. Panama has become my home, before I would tell other volunteers when I was headed back to Membrillo that I was "heading back to site" and now I say, "I am headed home." I'm glad I have made this adjustment. Our sites should feel like our homes. I need to mention a bit more about the recycling project. The transportation system originally was to use pick-up trucks with the help of local politicians to take the recycling to the recycling center. Unfortunately we had some politicians who didn't show up, or weren't available, or were in the middle of a widely known political party scheme to change parties for 120,000 dollars---- it was just a mess relying on these local politicians. So, I went directly to the recycling center with a letter of presentation about our recycling project and was able to create an agreement with the recycling center to provide the transportation. The owner of the recycling center in panama said, "I want to help you." The center has already sent Aber Miranda to Membrillo to see our recycling project and will be providing recycling education in the near future. How great right? All I had to do was ask. I am now referred to "la cabezona" by my school's environmental committee. Which I guess is a warranted nick-name. So far we have hosted two recycling days at the school, the first day we made 43 dollars and the second day we made 104 dollars. Tomorrow, we will host our third recycling day and I hope and hope tomorrow will be just as amazing as our first two recycling days. The 21st of May, the middle school will host their first recycling day, let's see how they do...I have already provided the science classes for 7th, 8th, and 9th graders with the recycling education charla. It's now in their hands. Last week, I visited the Panamanian national park on Coiba. Coiba is a former Alcatraz, which was transformed into a national park in 2004 to allow for tourists to visit the island. The island is maintained by the environmental agency that I work with, ANAM. The island has been left undeveloped, apart for the 23 jail facilities and the ANAM facilities. A friend of mine, John Cho planned the trip for a group of ten volunteers including myself to visit the island. The island itself is huge. It's about 2 hours in boat from the Veraguas coast. We stayed on the island for 2 days and 2 nights. We visited the jail, a small island known as "granito de oro", and snorkeled a bunch. I actually swam very close to sharks! I saw one turtle and a ridiculous amount of fish. It was really a great vacation. I got back on Friday in time to tell my students all about the trip. I actually had to rush back to site to get right back to work--recycling, reforestation, and my one year visit by both of my supervisors requires a bunch of planning. My supervisors are heading to my site on the 15th to meet my counterparts, talk to my principal, the reforestation group, my host families, and community members about my work and the work that is left to be done during my last year of service. I hope to host a little celebration for my birthday. I have to ask my host moms to help me prepare for the celebration with typical Panamanian birthday food, rice with chicken and potato salad with beets and a cake of course. Vamos a ver si todo va bien. Esto es todo for now, Hasta pronto, Sonia

Recycling, Recycling, Recycling.

The kids look so proud in this picture and so do I! 

Ashley stopped by to help sort the recycling and take pictures. My neighbor, Maribel is in the background tallying up the students recycling items. 

Only one word can articulate our first recycling day on April 2nd, 2012 and that word is Awesome!! The kids managed to bring so many recycling items from home. I was so impressed and proud of them. For our first recycling day, the environmental committee and myself held a recycling competition. The classroom that brought the greatest amount of recycling items was promised a cake and a pinata. After the morning announcements, with the help of seven mothers we went classroom to classroom calculating and separating all of the recycling. I had made notebooks dedicated to the recycling activity with a roster from every classroom as a way to determine which kids were recycling and which kids weren't recycling.  I had several classrooms with over 300 items of recycling. I also had two 6th grade girls that individually brought over 200 recycling items.  The winners of our first recycling activity were 11 pre-kindergardners, whom managed to recycling 1,483 items most of which were aluminum cans.  Suffice it to say they deserved their cake and pinata prizes. Their win proves that environmental awareness and a willingness to protect our environment can be taught at any age. They are Membrillo's youngest environmentalists.  Another great thing about our environmental recycling event was that the Ministry of Educations environmental coordinator was able to attend, as well as a representative from an environmental NGO Oruga, and the director of environmental education from ANAM--the environmental agency of Panama.  I was so glad to see that our project has the support of these agencies and their attendance proved their continued support.  Shortly after we had celebrated the pre-kindergarnders victory, a local politician provided the recycling transportation to the recycling center. After all of our materials had been weighed, the grand total for the day was 43 dollars worth of recycling.  I was speechless. Our next collection day is the 16th and I hope the success of this project continues. 

Within the next week, the concrete floor and painting of the outdoor recycling area should be done. I will take pictures of the new and improved recycling area as soon as I have the chance.  

This last week I attended a Peace Corps seminar known as Project Management and Leadership.  The conference is a three day long seminar that is offered to all Peace Corps volunteers and one counterpart from our communities. I had asked the treasurer of the PTA who also happens to be the president of the reforestation group.  Camilo is very honest and responsible in his work and I felt the conference would be a great opportunity for him. The seminar covers topics that we may consider simple, but for counterparts in the community its helpful to practice using a budget, an agenda, learning how to write formal presentation, solicitation, and thank you letters, and also practice speaking in public. I feel that Camilo and my working relationship will grow from this experience. I learned a number of things that I hadn't asked previously. I wasn't aware that he had only attended school until 6th grade. During the seminar Camilo mentioned a number of his values and his work ethics that I really admire. The last day of the seminar Camilo mentioned future activities that he would like my help with, one of which is hosting a formal letter writing charla for all the members of the reforestation group.  He would also like to learn how to type out formal letters on a computer.  He also wants to host an environmental cleaning day! I think this is going to be fun! 

I hope to include more pictures in future blogs, I am just waiting for Mama Esquibel's camera to arrive in the mail.  

Hasta Pronto, Sonia. 

You know you are a Panamanian peace corps volunteer when...

You know your a Panamanian peace corps volunteer when... 1. You are so jealous that the person next to you on the bus is eating fried chicken at 8:42 in the morning. 2. You start incorporating "thanks be to god" in daily conversations. 3. You thrill at the arrival of packages from the united states that include clothing, topatío hot sauce, girl scout thin mints, red vines, and bounce dryer sheets(!)  4. You get super excited about finding .25 cents on the ground. Or if you drop .25 cents search until you find it.  5. You travel 7 hours to hang out with friends.   6. You lose your ego and are not beyond asking for help when you need it, also referred to as "not beyond begging" for financial support for projects and accept support from sleazy local  politicians.  7. Although you didn't find Panamanians particularly attractive initially, you begin to find them attractive as more and more months pass. "So what if he doesn't have teeth?" And so what if Panamanian relationships are influenced by intense telenovelas? The peace corps Doctor Lourdes refers to these new sentiments as "jungle goggles"  8. You completely forget about holidays back home, dude I totally forgot about St. Patricks Day. Oops.  9. You eat anything, including scary looking fruit that a random man passes to you on the bus. And eat more, as he continues to hand you more... 10. Did I mention loving family members and friends so much more for taking the time to send packages?!  This list really makes me laugh. I hope others find it funny. I think humor is so important for development work. And for life. I remember asking Paul Farmer ( humanitarian that started partners in health, also Tracy Kidder wrote Mountains beyond Mountains about his work) what characteristics he thought were absolutely necessary for someone working in development work and he said patience, humility, and humor.  Success story: Saturday night I held my first community activity, a movie night at the school. The movie night was our first fundraiser for the schools recycling project. We showed Avatar! I wanted a movie with an environmental context, not realizing that i was indoctrinating my community members. If anyone has read the articles about the Ngobe indigenous protests about mining in Panama and hydroelectric construction, the parallel between the movie and Panama was actually pretty coincidental. Anyways, we raised 22 dollars! Over 65 community members attended the movie night. It was awesome. I asked both of my counterparts for their support, one of which is a teacher and works with me on the environmental committee and the other is the president of the reforestation group. It meant a lot to me that they both helped. Also my host sister collected the .25 cent entry. I am so happy that it worked out. The cable on the projector wasn't working all day and then miraculously worked Saturday night. Thank you universe. I look forward to hosting another movie night in the near future, just as soon as I am able to find the new cables for the projector.  I just finished Outliers by Malcom Gladwell, highly recommend it. The story of the extraordinary opportunities that the Beatles, Bill Gates, hockey players born in January, KIPP school, etc. We are products of parentage, patronage, and the world in which we grow up and the opportunities that that world gives us. It's super good, please read it.  This last week, I spent four days in a good friends community. Beth had been coordinating with community members to build compost latrines (also known as outhouses). In four days beth had planned on building 4 latrines. Next week she will be building 5 latrines! Essentially shes kicking ass.  Shes also coordinating with Global Brigades, which offers week trips to university students from the united states and Canada to come to Panama. During the week the students participate in projects in rural Darien. The students helped build the latrines on Wednesday and thursday while the technicians taught them to lay the bricks, pour a cement floor, seal the walls with cement, cut rebar and wood, etc. The global brigades students also all contribute 100 dollars to the community, imagine 4,500 dollars being donated to a rural community for community projects ---it's incredible. And they brought in the resources for all the latrines and were paying the technicians. Global brigades also provides communities with medical brigades, environmental brigades, and business brigades. The only bummer is at the moment they are only working in the Darien... Thats all for now,  Hasta pronto, Sonia   

Tengo Algunas Fotos de Carnivales!

Gracias Blog, 

I have been so giddy with all of the emails I have received about making donations. I need your addresses to send thank you postcards. Thank you to those that emailed me (especialmente mis primas!). I was genuinely concerned about funding for the recycling project and for the Internet stick. Last week visiting the Panamanian agencies was just so disheartening.  Randomly however the environmental agency, ANAM, dropped off five concrete sacks to my house. They apologized for only being able to provide all ten sacks but I was still pretty impressed. Transportation is still an issue. But my old supervisor mentioned to my site mate before he left that we should just begin recycling. All of it would have been burned anyways, so at least we are attempting to recycle and we are providing recycling education to the community in the mean time. I have put a lot of work into this recycling project and the invitations have been sent out for our first recycling day. Now the project is in my communities hands. My counterpart at the school, maestra Jacinta is under the impression that a lot of community members are going to participate. We shall see April 2nd...

I just want to put it out there that I love emails, fb messages, phone calls, text messages for those that are reading this feel free to send messages my way (I feel that I am better at communicating if someone initiates the conversation)

What else is new? I have begun teaching recycling education at the elementary school. I have 22 teachers to work with from pre-kinder hasta sexto grado. I have worked with 8 teachers so far, they teach 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th graders. The activities I have shared with them have been fun. Recycling soup was the most successful activity. We threw water bottles, soda cans, batteries, white paper, and milk cartons into "our drinking water." I asked the kids if they still wanted to drink the water. They all said "que no, que no."I explained to the group that we would be recycling all of these things this year.  And then I went into recycling definitions.  I also used 3 short recycling videos on the projector which they seemed to like. I have also started observing the science teachers in the afternoon (junior high) and I would like to start working with them next week.  

I have started doing yoga at my home and I love it. I even play the long time sunshine song at the end of my workout. I forgot how difficult yoga is. Downward facing dog is so difficult.  I am using one of Deepak Chopras videos that is absolutely amazing.  I have been trying to keep it a secret from my community though, I dont know what they would think aout it. They might think, "ugh, what is that crazy gringa doing now?". They already laugh and make fun of me enough when I go for jogs. 

I have more kids participating in my English classes every week. They are so funny. We have been working on pronunciations and sounds. Today they were learning "a man" and they all kept saying "amen." Once I have an opportunity to take a picture of them, I will. They are so cute! I have decided that their homework will always be to borrow and read three books from my book shelf. Their reading levels are really behind. And their reading skills are so much more important than their English skills. 

Panama according to a friend of mine out of 139 countries surveyed ranks 129th in terms of education. The kids copy all day long. They are not asked to think critically or creatively.  In waiting for superman, the narrator refers to great teachers as professional athletes.  I am beginning to agree with this description. Great teachers take an avid interest in their students lives, their abilities, and their goals. They are willing to come early and stay late. They keep the lectures up to date. They go out of their way to support their students. I would hope that they take an interest in the community in which they teach. They are like professional athletes. I will write more about education woes in the following blog.   

Okay ya, 

Hasta Luego, Sonia 

The ask

Blog tres, "The Ask"

Randy Pausch in the last lecture says, "just ask" because we don't lose anything by asking. (***remember, "lives of service depend on lives of support")

A number of friends and family members have all been so generous with their small donations. I am not soliciting support from those who have already donated to my small fundraisers so far. You rock my socks. I am soliciting money from those who have been holding back, who have so obviously wanted to help me out, but have been waiting for the perfect opportunity. Here it is!

I am soliciting money for this great USB stick that would allow me to use the Internet in my home! It's surprisingly cheap, however my income does not allow me to pay for it all by myself. Here's what we should do, I will pay half (because let's face it, I am so looking forward to all the skyping opportunities I will now have) and you pay for the other half which I will use to teach basic Internet classes. It's win win.

Often the artisans in my community ask me to send emails on their behalf. I would love to teach them how to use a g mail account, email documents, and photos. I recently visited a friends site and his counterpart was so casually checking his email, it made me so jealous. It's very possible to teach basic Internet skills, and it would be incredible to bring the internet to the artisans in my community.

The actually cost of the USB is 37 dollars plus tax, the compatible phone is 20 dollars with the Claro chip, and 15 additional dollars for phone cards with data. The grand total comes to 72 dollars. Anyone that is willing to help, please email me at sesquib2@gmail.com

For the last couple weeks, I have been doing the run around in search of resources. I was soliciting funds today for a field trip in July to a recycling center and you should see the stack of paper work I have to fill out. Although panama has a number of agencies with money and resources, the amount of red tape is a little overwhelming. I can see why volunteers get frustrated with agencies. The money I will be soliciting requires 2 months in order to process. Concrete sacks that I solicited two weeks ago will take another two months to process.

I visited the recycling center today and hope to create an agreement with them about transport in the near future. I feel kind of like I am applying for jobs. Running around, dressing nice, and calling to make sure they still know I am interested and committed to this recycling project. I really hope everything works out.

This is the the job, creating relationships with agencies and getting resources to our sites, and navigating the red tape.

One victory that I had this week was meeting with a local NGO that is dedicated to environmental education and recycling. Unfortunately they too are short on funding. They work with American started organizations like amigos de las Americas and sustainable harvest international. They deserve funding and it's unfortunate that they have to fight for it in a country that really needs their help. If anyone is untreated in making a donation to Oruga, I can make sure they receive the donation. We are in the struggle for environmental education together.

If anyone can help with funding for recycling, Internet, or Oruga I look forward to hearing from you. I need help. Thanks in advance. I am so lucky to have such supportive friends and family. Who knows where i would be without you? Special thanks to those that have already donated. Especially you Dad.

Blog Dos

Peace Corps disclaimer: the contents of this website are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the US government or the Peace Corps.

Blog Numero Dos,

I have two followers! Alright! Thanks to my cousins and sister! In Mountains beyond mountains by Tracy Kidder written about a humanitarian named Paul Farmer, Farmer expresses his opinion about International development work, that “lives of service depend on lives of support.” I couldn’t agree more with Paul Farmers opinion. A family friend who served as a Peace Corps volunteer in El Salvador a couple years ago mentioned that during my two-year service I would learn a lot about friends and family. The amount of support that friends, family, and family friends have already demonstrated has been incredible. Within a week of mentioning to my dad how useful a projector would be in my site, the projector had already been funded by friends of the family. Movies have been sent and books have been donated. I am incredibly grateful for this support. Not only have I received support from home, I have also had four visitors within the last 9 months. Volunteers have complained that after nearly two years in Panama and they are still waiting for their families to visit. I did threaten my family that if they didn’t come I would never forgive them. The last visitor, Mama Esquibel, has plans to visit some time in May, June, or July and I cannot wait. One of the greatest things about Peace Corps Panama is traveling around Panama. One of the three Peace Corps goals is sharing Panama and Panamanian culture with other Americans. How best to accomplish this goal? By traveling around Panama! Aside from Costa Rica, Panama might be the second most affluent Peace Corps country. Elena visited early last month and we visited Panama City, my community, Boquete, and Bocas del Toro. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Boquete, it is gorgeous community in the mountains of Chiriqui. While Elena and I were there the city was hosting their annual coffee and flower festival. Although there wasn’t any coffee, the flowers were beautiful. Elena and I stayed at a very nice hotel and we enjoyed sipping strawberry wine and hiking around Boquete. Bocas del Toro is a province of Panama that also is home to an archipelago of some two hundred + islands. Elena and I visited Isla Colon, which in my opinion could be re-named “Dirty Back-packers Paradise.” The island is full of very good looking (some-what dirty) 20-35 year olds from New Zealand, The UK, Argentina, Germany, China, The US, etc. Also the island is a boat ride away from a number of tours including zip-lining, snorkeling, diving, surfing, dolphin-watching, among a list of many other activities. Elena and I had a fantastic time while she was here. I hope she will return soon. Shortly after Elena left another good friend of mine, Alex Ireland stopped by Panama. Alex and I studied in Spain together over two and a half years ago and the girl visited me in Panama! I was am so happy that she managed to make her way down here. We had a great time bike riding, tanning, snorkeling, kissing sea cucumbers for seven years of good luck, dolphin watching, and going out. If anyone reading this blog has the slightest inclination to plan a trip to Panama to visit me, I would be absolutely thrilled. Panama is such a fun country to host visitors.

Cliff Notes for January:

Back to Panama

Beth’s Birthday celebration

Elena’s visit

Traveling to Boquete

Traveling to Bocas del Toro

Taco Tuesdays

Alex Ireland’s visit

Recycling Project

Orange Festival

Hiking to waterfalls

Visiting volunteers/having volunteers visit

(I wish I could comment about all of these events and maybe gradually I will get better at blogging as I go. For the time being though the cliff-notes version will have to do.)

A day in the life: (Sunday Febuary 5th) This morning I woke up and rushed to greet a group of students visiting Membrillo from a Panamanian University in Chitre. The students are all in their fourth year at the University and are currently working on what I believe is the equivalent to a teaching certificate for environmental science. The reforestation group that I work with in La Mina hosted all of the students today. The environmental agency in Panama, ANAM, provided this group of students with transportation. My group led the students on a tour of la Mina and even carved some soap stone figurines for the visitors. After the tour we listened to a presentation that the students had prepared for community members and elementary kids. The group left shortly after 1 pm. I was so impressed by my group today. The “convenio” was a success.

At 2 pm I had to visit Senor Candido who had promised he would teach me how to sew a flower made of a fiber plant. Senor Candido shared with me today that he has 45 grandchildren! How crazy is that? They took a number of pictures that I will upload for this blog. I really wanted to take Senor Candido up on his offer because everyone in my community is an artist. It would be nice to be one of them. He taught me a little today and he told me to go back next Sunday for another lesson. Eventually I will make a mobile, something that resembles chimes back home. Maybe I will send it home when I finish it to add to my Dad’s collection. haha.

Quotes from A Path with Heart that made me smile this week:

“I am a twin, and sometimes I think I got my brother to come along so I could have some company.”

“What we need is a cup of understanding, a barrel or love, and an ocean of patience.”

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

“This life is only a test--it is only a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do. Remember, this life is only a test.”

A very funny reality here: I remember when I was in junior high and some kids excuses about not doing their homework was that the "dog had eaten their homework." the other day I found my CEC binder completely destroyed by termites! If one of the kids uses that excuse next semester, I will probably believe them because it is totally possible!

(update for today) I just visited the ANAM regional office just to ask for a couple environmental guides for the new school year. The Director in charge of the environmental office was there and gave me so much stuff! I walked out of the office smiling and giggling. I now have environmental guides for grades k-6th graders, recycling guides, environmental posters, puzzles, and coloring books. I also asked about the new floor the recycling area could use and she told me just to send a letter and she would manage to get the 8 concrete sacks that we need. I love how by just asking I now get to tow all of these amazing educational resources back to Membrillo!!!! Wooh!!!!!!! I seriously can’t stop smiling. Best morning ever!